2:33 am - 25 March, 2003
What? I'm not the only girl in his life?? *Gasp*!
I'm thinking of not "hanging out" with Christian anymore...
I'm getting way too jealous. Big time. I'm big on the not being jealous...ever...and this whole jealousy eating at me every time he shows any kind of affection--or even flirtatious glance--towards another girl is really not cool.
What really did it for me was when someone told me they heard him having sex with their roommate. I don't think they've known each other that long, so it was, most likely, quite a recent occurance. So, when I heard that, I went into quiet-little-ball mode.
Damn, that really bothers me.
It shouldn't. It's not like we're an item or anything...we're not even really dating...I'm just in love with him...
So, I figure...this is bringing more pain than it's worth...and I don't see it going anywhere...so it's time to move on.
He doesn't seem to even realize that people could care about him in that way. Apparently, he's "been" with this girl in Theatre at school...they always sit together in Musical Theatre and stuff, and they flirt a whole lot. Then he turns around to me, with her sitting right next to him, and reminds me that I "owe him" (reffering back to a conversation we had, in which I promised to "jump" him when I wasn't sick...which I was at the time). Of course, I flirt back...but does he really think that she doesn't have any kind of feeling towards him? Maybe she's just a ho and doesn't, but I don't think that's very likely. Christian's not the type of guy someone fools around with just 'cause has a penis. At least, I don't think so.
He acts like such an ass sometimes and I just want to kick him.
And Jaime came online, and I got to vent. Hooray for venting. Jaime always makes me feel better...he's the shiznit.
I'm still depressed as hell, but I at least got to get some of that shit off of my chest. I guess I'm just no good at the online journal thing when it comes to venting. I either need to talk to someone, or write poetry. I'm really not in a very poetic mood right now. If I tried to write something, it would probably be a lovely compilation of shits, fucks, and damns.
And I'm done.
