10:17 pm - 09 May, 2003
Happy Thoughts
Aside from the fact that I'm tired, hungry, and could be doing something that doesn't involve being at home right now, I think I'm actually kind of happy. Beneath all of the superficial pains and irritations of everyday life, there's nothing more I could ask for.
My life consists of more than feeling lonely and drinking coffee with Krystle at IHOP.
Not that there's anything wrong with drinking coffee with Krystle at IHOP, in fact, I miss mine & Krystle's IHOP nights. We need to start going there more often now that school's out and Godspell is over.
But the point is, I actually find myself with things to do and people to see. People that I like who like me, too. I guess we call those friends. Some are merely good aquaintances, but some really are friends. I find myself looking forward to the summer, in realization that I will have something to do other than work, and go to IHOP with Krystle.
Man, I sound like such a loser :-p
It's just been a while. My old high school friends, for the most part, all moved away, and I've been slow to make new ones. But that's beside the point. I don't want to reflect on what has passed, but to look forward to what is to come.
Jim has been away. Monday will be 30 days. But he comes back on Thursday, and is planning to have some people over for BBQ. Things are going to be good with him now. I just know it. I can't wait to see him.
Then, there's Theatre "Banquet" on the 17th. Banquet will be fun, but what's really going to be a blast is the after party at Bev's house. Bev had a cast party for Godspell and it was *awesome*. The after-banquet party will rock. Oh yes, it will rock.
Then, Katie's coming down around the 23rd...we have a surprise for her that is going to make her shit her pants. Then there will be much rejoicing and making of merriment. I think Scarborough Faire is on the agenda at some point during her visit.
Krystle and I are, of course, planning on driving up to see Katie whenever she gets back from wherever she's going after she comes down to visit. That will rock balls.
And then there's the Fab Four. This recently formed team consists of Boobzilla (Krystle), Fagzilla (John), Bigzilla (Christian), and Britzilla (myself). The Fab Four must never fade away. The group is just too odd of a match, yet it works so well. I think we need to arrange for some kind of bi-weekly Fab Four get-together of sorts, just to ensure the longivity of our clan.
Which brings me to my next point. Christian and I, being 50% of the Fab Four, seem to be going the opposite direction one would think after the events of last weekend. Of course, there was initial weirdness, but we talked about it, and we're totally cool. Infact, I think we're actually becoming better friends. This could quite possibly be a purely internal thing on my part, but Krystle agrees. I think the change is due to the little part of me that was hanging on to the hopes of having a serious-type relationship with Christian. Now that little part has gone away, or at least re-grouped. My primary concern now is that I do not lose him as a friend. It seems that my love for him has changed somehow--from the obsessive, gotta-have-him-all-to-myself shit that I hated from the get-go, to a more relaxed, deeper, accepting love. For the first time, I'm seeing what our relationsip is clearly, and finding myself entirely happy with it.
I could go on about this forever, but it would most likely get very repetetive. Perhaps I'll reserve the rest of my thoughts on the matter for another entry.
So I'm happy. I have friends that I love dearly, and when it comes to the summertime, that is all that matters.
This is going to be a great summer.
