6:22 pm - 24 August, 2003
Stuff
I haven't been doing this whole updating thing very consistantly lately.
I miss idleness.
And I miss Joaqin...
I shouldn't, as I saw him just the other day, but I do...
I think it's because I'm afraid. I've reached that point where I'm absolutely terrified that I might lose him or discover that he's not as shit-crazy about me as I am about him. That would really suck.
But there's no solid evidence to support this fear. Anything he's said or done that would ordinarily lead me to concern is completely excused by the fact that he's busy getting ready for school and stuff. Moving is stressful...
And yet, there's still a part of me that's beginning to panic...
So I shut out the concern until he comes to me. He will call and we will talk and all these fears will go away, so all I can do is wait and occupy my mind with other things...like school starting tomorrow...
I'm taking an 8am class. Actually, I'm taking 2 8am classes, so I'm going to school from 8am Monday-Friday.
Have I lost my mind?
Perhaps.
